I like it. Try to avoid the empty E string palm muting dwelling, it's a too common pattern which is due to the instrument rather than to the intent of the musician.
it's good, but this is why i always say to avoid those opens, 5's, 7's, and 8's. it sounds like every killswitch engage song ever written. i like killswitch, but it's already been done. i will say the song has its moments. cool riffs, just stay away from that format for every song.
...what hydraulacost said. He said it perfectly. Try using different scales too. Phrygian is a popular scale for metal and if you wanna get nasty and try Locrian.